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I am sure you have heard the term “Tough Love”, and perhaps even had to apply it at one time or another. At the time of confrontation it may even seem beyond tough, but be encouraged, it does pay off.

Here’s a living example: (Names changed, but situation is real).
Some good friends of mine in Mexico whom I have known for probably 15 years or so have 2 sons. Both boys of course had the same opportunities, but as in many families, one was a little more rebellious than the other, actually quite a bit more rebellious.

Drastic Measures
Things became so difficult that one day the father stepped in and took some very drastic measures with the rebellious lad. He put him out of the home to fend for himself. Now that seems like more than tough love!

The other son that stayed with his parents was given everything he needed, university education, cars, electronics – you name it, he had it. Sure he was a model son at home. He was usually present when I visited the home, and the conversation was always edifying.

Several Years Later
Now let’s fast forward to 12 yrs later (probably more than 12 yrs later – since I tend to lose track of time

The lad that was brought up in the protection of his home ended up trapped in the web of a seductive young lady whom he finally married and later divorced. When I saw him again a few short years ago while he was visiting his then sick father, I was shocked and saddened to see a very broken young man (he was just in the process of going through the divorce at that time).

The other son ended up with a great job, great wife and extremely polite children. I was astonished the first time I was greeted by a young lady, just 6 years old inviting me to sit down and then asking if I would like a cup of coffee when I visited her grandparents home.

Now, there is no question about it, the younger son loves his parents and visits them now and again (when he has time). He does care for them.

Guess Which Son Is The Most Caring Now They Are Both Grown?
However guess which son is ALWAYS there for his parents when they need something, highly respects them and shows a very caring attitude towards them?

Yes, it was so noticeable when the father took ill, that one day while visiting their home during Juan’s recovery I mentioned it. I asked him “which of the two is more attentive to you today?”

Which of the two do you think was named when I asked this question?

Does tough love pay off?

The problem in this “I want it NOW” age of today is that we tend to look for a short term fix, and often ignore the long term affects.

Of course the application of tough love will vary according to the situation and personalities involved. It may not always need to be applied in such a drastic way.

Above all it MUST be applied with GENUINE love (never desperation), as with all disciplinary measures.

LOVE is the key! Even when love must be tough, it must be genuine LOVE.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!