Successful Relationships » positive

Prepare Your Child For Success!

Yuli — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 19:38:12 +0000

The other day I was working through a book about accelerated learning and came to an interesting statistic. Jack Canfield (famous for his co-authoring of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series) organized a survey where the words spoken daily by school aged children were noted.

The mindset of children today.
A team of surveyors followed 100 children for a complete day making a note of the number of negative and positive statements that each child spoke during that day.

The results were staggering:
Positive statements spoken — over 72!
Negative statements spoken — over 650!

Take into account that it takes 5 positive declarations to counteract 1 negative statement and it is clear we are facing a serious problem with our children today. I am sure that we would be equally amazed at the results if we followed 100 adults for a complete day also.

Is it any wonder that statistics show that 82% of 6 year olds are confident about their ability to learn while only 18% of 16yr olds share the same confidence! (Statistics and survey information taken from “Accelerate Your Learning” by Colin Rose and Loise Goll).

How to be a part of the solution.

It is clear that our children need as much positive reinforcement as they can get every day. The surest place for them to get this is at home (because YOU can set the atmosphere).

This means that at home you need to make sure that your children ONLY hear positive declarations and words of encouragement all the time.

Do you want your child to grow up with a positive and creative mindset, ready to succeed in life?
I am sure you do! So here are some ideas to help you add more positive ideas and affirmations to your child’s life. This will of course boost their self esteem and confidence.

Seek to make at least 5 positive and encouraging comments to your child each day.
Try to give your child some one on one attention every day. A chat over a hot chocolate or orange juice would be good, especially if they know they have your undivided attention. This may only take a few minutes, but it will make a huge difference to your child’s day.
Write a short note that will encourage your child and let them know that you believe in them. This note could include a famous quote that may relate to something your child is facing right now, and would encourage them to believe they can conquer. Leave it under their pillow, or put it in their lunch box.
Look for all the positive traits and behavior in your child and affirm them.
Encourage your child to pursue the things they express interest in. Affirm that they can do anything they want to do. Encourage them to declare their own confidence in their abilities too.

Make every effort to encourage your child to succeed and you will also enjoy the added benefit of a stronger bond with them.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

How Much Do You Really Value Your Children?

Yuli — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 01:33:28 +0000

Children should be seen and not heard!

Do you remember those days? They were ignorant times for sure. They were days when it was thought that children would be able contribute something of value to society when they grew up. Meanwhile, they were to stay quiet, out of the way of the adults and amuse themselves, of course keeping out of trouble.

One of the key truths I taught in Mexico at the seminars for parents was that children are not a part of the church of tomorrow, but they are a part of the church TODAY. The same can be said of society. Children have something valuable to contribute to society TODAY.

Children are valuable citizens today – not just tomorrow!

Children do not have to wait until they grow up to become valuable. Hopefully we have left behind the days when children were to be seen and not heard, and we now understand that children are valuable human beings and an essential part of society.

They have much to contribute to their families as well as to society today.

Children Bring Happiness

Being with children is good for ALL adults. They are usually carefree, love to play and laugh. It is very good for any adult to spend time laughing and playing with children to help alleviate the stress of the day.

Laughter is like medicine, Proverbs 17:22 tells us.

A grandmother comments her experience on the blog, Mindset For Living. After the stress of facing a difficult divorce, she picks up her grandson to laugh and play with him See the third comment on the article “Weightloss, Health and Mindset”. This greatly helped her forget the stress of the day.

Children Have Rights.

Children also have rights, the right to be heard and to make their own choices (where appropriate of course). Now, I am not talking about going to the extreme that some have advocated (letting children chose to divorce their parents for example.)

Of course they are not yet fully developed, and some choices are reserved for them when they reach adulthood. However, as some parents have understood, children are actually “little people”.

The parents who understand this treat their children as such. You can feel the atmosphere of love and security when you walk into the homes of these families.

Children Have Something Valuable to Say

Out of the mouths of babes, great wisdom often comes. Is that not true. Children are usually direct, they speak what they see with no holding back.

They also state the obvious, something which for some reason we adults often overlook. We try to complicate things, children keep it simple.

Children Are to Be Respected!

As valuable human beings, children should be addressed with the same respect that you would (hopefully) address an adult.

One of my pet peeves is hearing a parent talking down to their children, or worse still using language that causes damage to their morale and self esteem. You can hear that a lot (unfortunately) in public places such as restaurants, supermarkets and stores.

I am sure you also have heard such conversations (well monologues really) that include negative words spoken in frustration or anger such as: stupid (horror of horrors), can’t you ever, how many times, etc.

Look for another article very soon when I will expound on some of these monologues and the long term effect that they have on your children.

Meanwhile, lets affirm our children with positive words, positive attitudes, love and respect.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

Fear Attracts Negative Relationships

Yuli — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 05:02:48 +0000

One of the great things about a good relationship is that each person is free to be themselves. They are free to think for themselves, act for themselves and are simply free to enjoy life.

When this kind of freedom exists, there can be great fellowship and a very solid relationship.

However, not everyone is able to enjoy such freedom. Sadly many people are stuck in a suffocating relationship. I don’t think there can be much worse than being in a relationship that is full of control.

My Experiences:

When I was serving at a very well known restaurant in the USA, I had the opportunity to observe a lot of different situations, some very pleasant, others not so pleasant.

One of the not so pleasant situations were when the authoritative partner would order for both of them while the other would silently look disgusted, letting me know they were not even consulted and that this was probably just a sample of what their life was like.

(Note: I am not at all against the husband ordering for the wife as a “gentlemanly gesture” after he has consulted her, that a totally different situation, and a very positive one at that!).

One time, the wife and child drank water while the husband enjoyed a cocktail. Was it because they chose water? Nope, he ordered for them, while they tried to look agreeable. What a sad situation.

So what was I observing in these situations? A terrible suffocation and control was at work. Those relationships are very unhealthy at best, doomed to destruction at worst.

But how do people get into those situations?

One of the huge reasons is the FEAR of being alone.

There is a saying in Spanish, “mejor solo que mal acompañado”
(Better to be alone than accompanied badly or by the wrong person). The English translation does not flow the same, but the meaning is surely the same.

When we are blinded by negative emotions, we always make wrong decisions.

This may not be a problem in your life, that’s great, but I am sure you have a friend who may need your support in this area.

So what can we do?

First this fear needs to be faced and uprooted.

Until fear is uprooted from your life, you will always attract the wrong people.

What is fear? Michael Pritchard quotes fear as being that little darkroom where negatives are developed.

That is essentially saying that the more we think about something we are afraid of, the bigger and clearer it gets. Only thing is that the size and clarity of this thing are both an illusion created in our own minds.

If this fear grows like a negative in the dark, then let’s take it into the light where it will wither up and die.

On a blank piece of paper write down all the things you fear about being left alone (if this is the case in your life).
Make sure you write down everything that comes to mind, whether you think you fear it or not.
Read the list back to yourself and then ask yourself, “Why do I fear this?”
Write down the answer.
Now look for a solution to everything you wrote down.

One practical example, if you wrote down: I need someone to help me balance my checkbook, the solution would be I am determined learn to balance my checkbook myself

Note, when we face fears and meet them with a solution, what we are doing is inviting our will which is the power of decision, to take its rightful place over our emotions (where both negative and positive feelings operate).

We DECIDE to exercise our will over our emotions (where fear can reside).

Once we do that we will be in a place where we can start to enjoy more freedom in live, and we have a better chance of attracting the RIGHT people into our life.

You may be reading this article after having been in a relationship with a person whom you thought was the right one for your life, but things happened and there was a breakup.

If this is the case, please check this out now: The Magic Of Making Up.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

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