Successful Relationships

If you live on this planet you know very well that human beings tend to have their ups and downs. Some more than others.

It can be very difficult trying to relate to some folk at times.

However a well founded relationship will always ride the storms, especially when these 5 attributes are in the hearts of the folk involved.

Trust.
This can be a big “issue” for many people. Perhaps you have difficulty trusting because of past betrayals or failures. Trusting again may be a risk, but let’s face it all of life involves risk. If you don’t take any risks, you will not achieve anything.

John Kennedy is quote as saying: “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

This is the seventh article of the series Teenage Years – Parents Adventure or Nightmare How you can embrace the adventure and stay away from the nightmare.

These tips were either suggested or approved by my teenage friends, and the seventh tip that was named is:

Don’t Give Up!
I recently asked some young friends what a successful relationship between teens and parents looks like from their perspective. We came up with a list of 8 tips for parents to do (see this list here), and then went on to think about things not to do. As we were going over a list of “donts” with a grin they added “And don’t give up on us”.

Two major keys to any successful relationship is love and communication. One expression of love is to show a genuine desire to communicate with the person.

When both love and communication are present in a relationship any problem can be worked out.

When some parents face difficulties with their teenagers that seem impossible to solve, they tend to take the “easy way out” and simply ignore their teen. I am sure you have heard of the theory “if I ignore it, it will go away”. This is so often the human way of coping with many situations that are difficult to handle.

However, in actual fact ignoring a problem does not solve anything, but rather it allows time for any unresolved emotional reactions to go deeper and fester.

There will be added difficulties if communication difficulties existed with your teenager when he or she was a small child. But be encouraged, it is not impossible to restore your relationship with your teen to become a successful one. It will take some time, patience and a determination to win. But always expect the best, and you WILL win!

This is the fifth article of the series Teenage Years – Parent’s Adventure or Nightmare. How you can embrace the adventure and stay away from the nightmare.

These tips were either suggested or approved by my teenage friends, and the fifth tip that was named is:

Don’t Antagonize Your Teenager.
Remember your teenager is going through a lot of changes already and because of this there may be some strange emotions pop up from time to time. There may even be some “out of character” moments as they are trying to find their own feet in this world.

There are three main definitions of the word antagonize found in the dictionary.

Very soon I will be starting a series on Real Love.

There are many kinds of love, but each one of them will only last is they include the greatest love of all – Agape Love.

Agape loves even if it is not loved.
Agape gives if it does not receive.
Agape does not give up.
Agape never fails.

Add this kind of love to the love you have for all those around you and your life will change drastically!

There is one main ingredient that binds together EVERY and ANY other principle that can be followed to build good relationships between parents and children.

(In fact see what Dr Wagner shared in his comment here: “give lots of hugs. Our twins would come and hug us immediately after we disciplined them. That’s a Message!.” (You can find Dr Wagner on Twitter at http://twitter.com/moneyinmarriage).

My answer to Dr Wagner’s comment: “absolutely!”

In fact love is the key ingredient for all Successful Relationships.

However, there is a misconception of what love really is and one of the places where this illusion is found is in the relationships between parents and children.

I am sure you have heard the term “Tough Love”, and perhaps even had to apply it at one time or another. At the time of confrontation it may even seem beyond tough, but be encouraged, it does pay off.

Here’s a living example: (Names changed, but situation is real).
Some good friends of mine in Mexico whom I have known for probably 15 years or so have 2 sons. Both boys of course had the same opportunities, but as in many families, one was a little more rebellious than the other, actually quite a bit more rebellious.

Drastic Measures
Things became so difficult that one day the father stepped in and took some very drastic measures with the rebellious lad. He put him out of the home to fend for himself.