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Prepare Your Child For Success!

Yuli — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 19:38:12 +0000

The other day I was working through a book about accelerated learning and came to an interesting statistic. Jack Canfield (famous for his co-authoring of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series) organized a survey where the words spoken daily by school aged children were noted.

The mindset of children today.
A team of surveyors followed 100 children for a complete day making a note of the number of negative and positive statements that each child spoke during that day.

The results were staggering:
Positive statements spoken — over 72!
Negative statements spoken — over 650!

Take into account that it takes 5 positive declarations to counteract 1 negative statement and it is clear we are facing a serious problem with our children today. I am sure that we would be equally amazed at the results if we followed 100 adults for a complete day also.

Is it any wonder that statistics show that 82% of 6 year olds are confident about their ability to learn while only 18% of 16yr olds share the same confidence! (Statistics and survey information taken from “Accelerate Your Learning” by Colin Rose and Loise Goll).

How to be a part of the solution.

It is clear that our children need as much positive reinforcement as they can get every day. The surest place for them to get this is at home (because YOU can set the atmosphere).

This means that at home you need to make sure that your children ONLY hear positive declarations and words of encouragement all the time.

Do you want your child to grow up with a positive and creative mindset, ready to succeed in life?
I am sure you do! So here are some ideas to help you add more positive ideas and affirmations to your child’s life. This will of course boost their self esteem and confidence.

Seek to make at least 5 positive and encouraging comments to your child each day.
Try to give your child some one on one attention every day. A chat over a hot chocolate or orange juice would be good, especially if they know they have your undivided attention. This may only take a few minutes, but it will make a huge difference to your child’s day.
Write a short note that will encourage your child and let them know that you believe in them. This note could include a famous quote that may relate to something your child is facing right now, and would encourage them to believe they can conquer. Leave it under their pillow, or put it in their lunch box.
Look for all the positive traits and behavior in your child and affirm them.
Encourage your child to pursue the things they express interest in. Affirm that they can do anything they want to do. Encourage them to declare their own confidence in their abilities too.

Make every effort to encourage your child to succeed and you will also enjoy the added benefit of a stronger bond with them.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

Strengthen Your Primary Relationship To Create A Peaceful Home

Yuli — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:39:34 +0000

Today I have invited a very special guest. Barbara Desmarais is a parenting and life coach who uses and applies the Law of Attraction to both her personal life and her coaching. Barb is the owner of http://www.theparentingcoach.com.

Barbara Desmarais writes:
Over the years I’ve coached many parents both privately and in groups. I’ve come across so many who are in regular conflict with their partner. They frequently argue about how to discipline the children or they are carrying around resentments and hurts towards each other.

Parents Set The Tone of the Household.
Just like a leader in an organization the parents set the tone of the household. Even if they aren’t openly arguing if they’re at odds with each other, the tension between them is felt by everyone.

If they are openly arguing and doing it in a hostile way, the kids are affected. They’re affected in a way that impacts who they are.

My Experience
I’ve been married for twenty-three years next month and I would be lying if I said it’s been clear sailing since the beginning. It hasn’t. We’ve had lots of struggles but I made a conscious decision many years ago that I was not going to put our kids through a divorce. I would not stay in an unsatisfactory marriage for the sake of the kids but the kids gave us a reason to make our relationship work.

When things were clearly off kilter we sought professional help. We saw a counselor both together and privately. I learned some important things about myself in the process and one of them was that the only person I could change was me. I took that advice to heart and put a lot of energy into finding out who I really was and what made me happy.

The happier I became, the less the little things bothered me and the more I worked on myself, the stronger my boundaries became. I reacted to situations differently.

The Law of Attraction Works In the Home
For many years I’ve been studying the Law of Attraction and recently I’ve been applying techniques that I know bring more emotional and spiritual wealth into my life. I’ve made a conscious decision to focus only on those qualities in my husband that I admire and respect. I regularly write down the many things I’m grateful for including a happy, stable marriage.

The more I focus on my husband’s good qualities, the more desirable he becomes.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is parents is to love and respect each other. When there is unity between the parents, the vibrations in the household are positive and everyone benefits.

It doesn’t mean that disagreements are a bad thing or that arguing should never be tolerated. Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship but when the union is strong, tension is kept to a minimum and arguments are quickly resolved.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

You can follow Barbara on twitter, where she is known as Coach Barb.

I would greatly appreciate hearing about your experiences too – please share them below.

Words Can Make or Break Your Child’s Life

Yuli — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 01:54:11 +0000

The spoken word is very powerful. Proverbs 18:21 tells us: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” (English Standard Version). Wow! So with words you can bring life or kill.

This is something that is so easy to forget especially in the home where more stressful and difficult circumstances are likely to show up on a daily basis. But getting frustrated and lashing out with negative words will only make any situation worse.

Speaking out of frustration can destroy.
One thing I hate to hear at the supermarket is a parent speaking harsh or belittling words to their child. It hurts to hear it. How much more must it hurt that child that is receiving the lashing! I am sure you have heard this too.

I know that grocery buying time can sometimes be difficult with young children, but getting frustrated with them and speaking harsh words will not solve anything. In fact, speaking disrespectful words will cause your children not to respect you and then when they become teens (and even long before), you may wonder what hit you!

A little encouragement can go a long way
I know it can be difficult to guide a child with his homework for example, especially when he/she may have learning challenges. But I also KNOW they can rise to any challenge when they are encouraged.

I saw a tremendous change in one young lad after spending time with him telling him he can and even making him repeat positive words about himself. In less than a week he was able to conquer a learning area that was thought impossible for him.

So, when a child has difficulty with something, especially a school subject, the first thing to do is to work with his/her mindset. You may even have to stop and work on your own mindset first.

Do YOU believe they are capable? You will have trouble encouraging them if you don’t!

Simple words of encouragement and affirmation can go a long way:

Please never do this!

Unfortunately this happens all too often. How many children are told they can never do something, or will never be good at a certain task? When they grow up, these negative words can be terrible obstacles as they try to reach their goals.

If you were told as a child that you could not do something, let me tell you now YES YOU CAN! You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to.

It is never too late to start speaking positive words to your children, to every member of your family, to your friends and to yourself. You CAN!

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

How to Prevent Supermarket Tantrums

How to Build Good Relationships Between Parents and Children

Yuli — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 03:02:53 +0000

Do you think it is possible in this day of extreme rebellion, lack of respect, and self-centered “ideals” to still enjoy a loving yet respectful relationship with your children?

Well that does greatly depend on you as a parent. No, I am not talking about being a perfect parent, none of us have quite reached that characteristic yet. And neither are there perfect children (except yours of course

We do live in a difficult age for children growing up and their parents trying to guide them. But there are certainly some things parents can do to help point children in the right direction and give them an opportunity to win this race called life.

7 Steps to Creating Good Relationships With Your Children

Set the example.

I am sure you have heard the saying “Actions speak louder than words”. How about “Your actions are so loud I can’t hear what you are saying”. That’s a little stronger, right?

Well this is exactly what your children will be thinking if your actions do not line up with what you say you expect of them.
Be careful with what you let them get away with when they are young.
It may be cute (to some) to watch young Johnny, who is after all just a baby, doing things that you may have no intention of letting him get away with when he is 4 or 5 years old once the “cuteness” wears off.

But it will be too late by then. Johnny’s brain is already programmed to know that it’s ok, even funny, to hit Dad with a baseball bat made of sponge. Only now he is older his new baseball bat is made of wood, and Dad no longer laughs. Johnny is confused!
Be fair.
This is especially essential when there are two or more children in the family. Never, and I mean NEVER favor one above the other. Both or all are equal in their own right and need to be treated the same.
Honor Your Word
The one sure way to teach your children to trust you is to be trustworthy! This means doing what you say you will do.

Sadly the age old story is repeated time and again. Dad promises Johnny he will take time to see the football game on Saturday morning where his son will be playing. He would not miss it for anything – well almost anything!

Then Dad gets a phone call. This is the big deal he has been waiting for and his promise to Johnny is soon forgotten are he excitedly assures his client he has no commitments on Saturday morning and of course he can make the presentation.

This scenario is repeated so many times that there are scores of movies made with it.

Once teenage years arrive a heart broken and frustrated Dad (or Mum) is left wonder why teenage son or daughter won’t confide in them. Don’t they trust Mum and/or Dad? NO why should they!
Respect Your Spouse
Remember, a child will imitate what he SEES long before he will respond to what he is told. If Dad is constantly putting Mum (or Mom) down by making fun of her cooking and laughing at her attempts to garden, then the children will quickly join in. They will grow up “knowing” that adults are a joke.

When this sort of thing happens in the home it will be difficult, even impossible, to teach the children to respect their mother (or father) or any other adult for that matter.
Never argue in front of the children
This is another area that teaches the children by example. When they see and hear their parents arguing, trust will falter and respect will dwindle. Don’t do it! (Its that simple).
What is your value system like?
There is absolutely no way you can try and teach little Johnny not to cuss if he hears those words in the home.

And how can you teach him not to steal if he sees those company brand pens and notepad all over the house?

Make sure YOU are living the values you want to teach your children. They must be your core values too, because who you ARE teaches more than what you say. (More about that in a future article).

I look forward to seeing your comments on these topics and I am sure you can add some.

Successful Relationships » home

Prepare Your Child For Success!

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

Strengthen Your Primary Relationship To Create A Peaceful Home

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

Words Can Make or Break Your Child’s Life

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

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How to Build Good Relationships Between Parents and Children

7 Steps to Creating Good Relationships With Your Children

May All Your Relationships be Successful!