Today in a celebration of Father’s Day weekend, President Barack Obama called upon fathers to be teachers and mentors. This does not mean you have to be a perfect father he stated, just one who cares and tries.

Your children will probably rate you as their perfect father if you simply do these three things:

Be involved with your children as they grow up.
Don’t leave everything to your wife. There will be times when you may need to make some sacrifices in your own agenda, but these adjustments will pay off greatly for the rest of your lives.

There are many memories that you can create in your children that they will carry into adulthood. They will become better adults just because Mum AND Dad were both involved with:

• Their needs when they were sick.
• Their sports activities.
• Their homework.
• Their field trips.
• Their school progress.

It is WELL worth any sacrifice you may need to make to be an active part of your children’s agenda as they are growing up.

Be available to your children when they need you.
Develop an “open door” policy with your children. This means building a trust relationship with them that will let them know that the door of your home office, your study or your workshop is always open for them to come and chat with you whenever they need to.

Be willing to devote personal attention to your children.
One great way to create some extra special memories in your child’s life is to spend some individual time with them as often as you can. At least once a month would be great. This will give them something special to look forward to as well.

You could take them out for a treat which would give you an opportunity to give them your undivided attention for an hour or so. It would also give Mum some time to herself which I am sure she would appreciate also

President Obama commented today: Just because your own father wasn’t there for you, that’s not an excuse for you to be absent also. It’s all the more reason for you to be present.

You have an obligation to break the cycle and to learn from those mistakes, and to rise up where your own fathers fell short and to do better than they did with your own children, Obama said. That’s what I’ve tried to do in my life.

A true teacher and mentor leads by example.
It is all about spending time with your children, learning to communicate with them and above all having fun with them. I know in my own childhood one of the the memories that stands out the most are the family activities in the back yard. Every evening when the weather was favorable our parents would play badminton, french cricket or something similar with us. These fun times left a very positive mark on our lives as we grew up.

Vice President Joe Biden gave a short comment during the Obama Father’s Day presentation, exhorting Fathers to love unconditionally. The importance of total unconditional love cannot be emphasised enough.

Unconditional love means your children do not have to earn your love nor will they ever be in fear of losing your love if they “mess up”. They will always simply KNOW that you love them.

Fathers, I know you do love your children but let them know that this weekend. Yes this Father’s Day weekend is a celebration for you. You can make this time extra special by making the effort to reinforce your love for your children and so strengthen your family bonds.

Have you told your children you love them today?

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

These tips were either suggested or approved by my teenage friends, and the seventh tip that was named is:

Don’t Give Up!
I recently asked some young friends what a successful relationship between teens and parents looks like from their perspective. We came up with a list of 8 tips for parents to do (see this list here), and then went on to think about things not to do. As we were going over a list of “donts” with a grin they added “And don’t give up on us”.

I have thought about that comment for the past week or so as I have been writing these posts about relating to your teenager.

• Are you tempted to give up on your teen?
• Have you found yourself in despair, wondering “what you did wrong”, as you see your teen taking a different path than what you had hoped they would take?
• Do you find it difficult to communicate with your teenager?

If any of these things sound remotely familiar to you, here are some things that will help you to ride these challenging years. They don’t have to be difficult, they can be years filled with fun and adventure.

Remember, your son or daughter is now developing into a young adult. This means:

1. They are finding their own feet.
2. They are checking out many things they were taught as children and will come to their own conclusions.
3. They need to face life with their own heart felt faith, their own standards.
4. They may seem to be straying from the values they were taught as children as they explore different areas of life for themselves, but don’t despair. They WILL be ok.

Remember Peter Marshall?He was an imigrant from Scotland, who ended up becoming Chaplain of the United States. During his earlier years, he took a “detour” from his faith to explore the areas of the physic much to the horror of his wife and close friends. However it was not long before his was convinced for HIMSELF, as to where this area belonged in relationship to his life and faith. His curiosity was satisfied and his faith was stronger. If you have not read “A Man Called Peter” I highly recommend that you do.

So don’t despair. Your teen will come back to the values and morals that they were taught as a child, especially if you keep the lines of communication as open as you can, and offer them a LOT of UNCONDITIONAL love. Proverbs 22:6 assures us: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

During this time of development into adulthood:

• Love unconditionally, but be firm when neccesary.
• Seek to understand, not judge.
• Seek to be their friend, but don’t intrude.
• Seek opportunities to enjoy fellowship with them over a meal, coffee and favorite restaurant.
• Take an interest in the things they are interested in.

Do these things now, and throughout their life and you WILL be able to enjoy a successful relationship with your sons and daughters.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

The full series Embrace The Fun and Adventure With Your Teenager and Avoid the Frenzy and Nightmare can be found here