Hi, its great to see you here again!
A friend who recently celebrated his 16th wedding anniversary gave me big secrets to a successful marriage. These three keys have allowed GD and his wife to enjoy all of these years of a great marriage. I shared one of these keys in the previous post, and now let’s take a look at the other two keys. To a great measure these two keys are unseparable.
Secret No 2 – Communication.
I am sure you were expecting to see this word pop up sooner or later 
Let’s explore this a little.
What exactly is communication? I have noticed that some people have the concept that communication is a one way street. They speak and you listen. Or worse still, they talk some things over with someone else, come to a conclusion and expect you to know their latest decisions. I find this happens a lot in corporate situations.
No, real communication is a TWO WAY street. It involves sharing AND listening. Listening skills seem to be the area that most of us need to brush up on.
In this busy multi-tasking society, listening seems to be defined as having one ear open to the conversation while texting, watching TV or even reading the newspaper (on your Kindle of course).
But real listening includes paying attention. It includes FOCUS. When I am really listening to you, then my mind is totally focused on what you are saying. I am seeking to understand what you are saying.
When it comes time for me to participate in the conversation, my contribution will be in context and valuable. Would you say this is a good definition of listening?
The dictionary gives the definition of listening as “hear with intention, and hear and pay attention”.
Real communication in the home a number one priority and needs to come BEFORE out other activities.
5 Things You Can Do To Maintain Good Communication With Your Spouse.
- Make sure you schedule some one on one time with your spouse every week.
- Go out to a quiet place where you have some uninterrupted time together.
- During this time, leave the ipods, iphones and blackberries at home (they will survive ok without you for a while
- Try and clear your mind of concerns, and situations. Put those on the shelf for a hour or so. If you have both been facing difficult situations, then some refreshing time together will do you both good.
- Talk and listen with your whole heart and mind.
- And here is a sixth thing – you need to make sure that you always talk openly about money
Secret No 3 – Understanding.
When you have really learned to communicate you should find that understanding is so much easier. This is because you are REALLY listening 
When your spouse senses you genuinely understand, you may well find a lot of tension and difficulties between you disappear. These tensions may have been building up over the week as life’s situations and challenges were causing strain.
Now some old fashioned communication and understanding melted the tension and each partner feels the support of the other.
How can you show understanding?
- If you are the guy, then you will need to listen more than you talk (that will be easy for you anyway Statistics declare that men speak around 2000 words and hour, while women need to speak up to 5000 words an hour. The very fact you are prepared to listen shows you are genuinely interested in understanding your wife.
- You do not have to have all the answers in order to understand. All you need to do is listen, and show support.
- Make sure your response shows you listened. This will communicate that you DID listen and you ARE intent on supporting.
Faithfulness, communication and understanding will take you a long way towards celebrating your 50th, 60th and yes even 70th wedding anniversary. Just the other day I saw a photo of a couple in celebrating their 70th anniversary!
May you enjoy a lifetime of a successful marriage, and:
May All Your Relationships be Successful!
