Hi, its great to see you here again!

We need to come to grips with the reality that no one is perfect. Sooner or later, everyone around us will fail us in some way.

At least they will not always live up to our expectations of them, because our expectations will probably be above what they are really capable of doing at times.

The question is, how are you going to react when they fail? You need to ask yourself honestly, how much imperfection will I tolerate? That is something you need to settle in your own heart, BEFORE moving forward to build a relationship with another person.

So, one of the key ways to learn to trust again is to learn to forgive.

HOWEVER, please note I am not saying that if you forgive, it automatically means you will trust as before. No, forgiveness and trust are two very separate things.

• Trust is earned by the other person. We also make a decision to trust them once we sense it is “safe”.
  
• Forgiveness is a decision we make and has actually may not involve the other person at all. When we forgive we release the burden of bitterness and resentment from our own lives regardless of whether the person who hurt us has changed or not.
  

Steps To Take To Trust Again:

Step One

To be able to trust again, the first step is to learn to trust yourself. Trust that YOU know what and who is best for YOUR life.

The worst decisions I have made in my life are when I followed what others said was best, against what I felt to be right for me. Believe me, that is suicide.

Step Two

The second step is to place limits, and trust each person in our lives according to their reputation.

Trust is earned, so don’t fall into the trap of fully trusting too quickly before you really have a chance to get to know the person.

Step Three

The third step is to accept that no one is perfect, and allow for that.

Now we can relax and enjoy our friends and family, trusting each one on the level they have earned, and accepting each member as a unique individual we are learning to enjoy, not change.

Learning to accept others and not try and change them is another topic, but for here it is sufficient to say, we need to accept a person and not try to change them before trusting and loving them.

If you find yourself trying to change someone close to you so you can feel more comfortable with them, then it is time to ask yourself:

Am I prepared to accept this person as they really are and love them for themselves?

Or could it be I have a fantasy image of my “ideal friend or companion” and I am trying to force this person to conform to this image?

If the latter is true, trouble is close on the horizon! It is time to act NOW!

What to do? Wake up to reality, accept them for who they are, or if you cannot do that, then they were never your friend.

Check List:

• Do I trust myself?
  If your answer is no, stop right here, this is an area that needs work first.

  You are your own best friend and your own best judge.

• We all need to place limits.
  Have I placed limits on the extent I trust each of my circle of friends (and even family)?

  Am I trusting each person to the extent they have showed themselves trustworthy. Have I set limits for each person which gives boundaries marking their place in my life?

  If the answer is no, you are setting yourself up for suffocation.

• Am I trusting real people or fantasy images?
  This seems a strange question. But so many people conjure up images in their minds of the “ideal friend” or the “ideal companion” etc and they trust this image rather than the real person. Of course it won’t be long before the real person does not measure up to the fantasy image, and we feel disillusioned.

  Do I trust everyone in my life according to who I know them to be or for who I hope they are or will be?

  Remember if you are trying to trust an imaginary person (who you hope they are or will be), you are setting yourself up for disillusionment at best or betrayal at worst.

I trust that these questions will help you get started on the road to trusting in the right way, or if are on this road already, I trust this article will inspire you to continue.

If you are facing or have just faced a broken intimate relationship, please click here to see something that will help you.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!