Hi, its great to see you here again!

No matter how good a relationship may be, there will always be times when it will be neccesary to forgive. No human being is perfect, and one of the major things that destroys relationships unforgiveness. When we have resentments and bitterness in our lives concerning a person there will always be a barrier between us.

The Real Issue

We need to understand that the real issue is not what happened to us, or what the person or group of people did to us, but rather what we did with the situation. Did the situation make us bitter or better?

We do not always have control over what happens to us, but we DO have control over how we react to events no matter how painful they may be.

Who Is In Control?

In effect, we need to ask ourselves, are we in control of what happened to us (even though it may have happened years ago) or is it still controlling us today?

When we forgive, we release that person and the situation. We decide we will no longer carry it or allow it to affect our present life. We no longer allow ourselves to think about the event or the person in a negative way.

The Decision Is Yours!

To forgive or not to forgive that is the question. Both are DECISIONS, not feelings. And they are decisions that affect OUR lives not the lives of the person or persons against whom we carry the grudge.

In Summary

• First: We need to realize that our lives need to be led by our will (decisions) not by our emotions.
  
• Second: We need to face the fact that we DO have control over how we reacted and continue to react against the situation. Therefore we have control over how the event and people involved continue to affect us.
  
• Third: we need to understand that to forgive is a decision not a feeling. It means letting go of the situation and forgetting it, but does not necessarily mean trusting again.
  
• Fourth: We decide to forgive and release the situation and person(s) from our minds and our emotions.
  
• Fifth: We need leave the past where it is (in the past) and focus on enjoying the present.
  

Note: If the person(s) whom we forgave is/are still in your present, then you need to decide on the level of trust you can offer them and let them earn it.

This is going to involve some work on your part and will mean maintaining a good attitude when you are around them. But remember it is YOUR health that is at stake, not theirs.

Check List:

• Is my life controlled by my emotions, or does my will have its rightful place?
  
• Have I taken the responsibility for the things I DO have control over?
  
• Do I understand that forgive is a decision, not a feeling?
  
• Have I discovered I am still carrying people from my past, and have I decided to forgive them and release them from my emotions so they cannot continue to affect my present?<
  /li>
• Have I managed to shake off the past and forget the situations leaving myself free to enjoy the present?
  

May All Your Relationships be Successful!