Secret No 1 – Faithfulness.

Secret No 2 – Communication.
I am sure you were expecting to see this word pop up sooner or later Let’s explore this a little.

What exactly is communication? I have noticed that some people have the concept that communication is a one way street. They speak and you listen. Or worse still, they talk some things over with someone else, come to a conclusion and expect you to know their latest decisions. I find this happens a lot in corporate situations.

No, real communication is a TWO WAY street. It involves sharing AND listening. Listening skills seem to be the area that most of us need to brush up on.

In this busy multi-tasking society, listening seems to be defined as having one ear open to the conversation while texting, watching TV or even reading the newspaper (on your Kindle of course).

But real listening includes paying attention. It includes FOCUS. When I am really listening to you, then my mind is totally focused on what you are saying. I am seeking to understand what you are saying.

When it comes time for me to participate in the conversation, my contribution will be in context and valuable. Would you say this is a good definition of listening?

The dictionary gives the definition of listening as “hear with intention, and hear and pay attention”.

Real communication in the home a number one priority and needs to come BEFORE out other activities.

5 Things You Can Do To Maintain Good Communication With Your Spouse.

• Make sure you schedule some one on one time with your spouse every week.
• Go out to a quiet place where you have some uninterrupted time together.
• During this time, leave the ipods, iphones and blackberries at home (they will survive ok without you for a while
• Try and clear your mind of concerns, and situations. Put those on the shelf for a hour or so. If you have both been facing difficult situations, then some refreshing time together will do you both good.
• Talk and listen with your whole heart and mind.
• And here is a sixth thing – you need to make sure that you always talk openly about money

Secret No 3 – Understanding.
When you have really learned to communicate you should find that understanding is so much easier. This is because you are REALLY listening

When your spouse senses you genuinely understand, you may well find a lot of tension and difficulties between you disappear. These tensions may have been building up over the week as life’s situations and challenges were causing strain.

Now some old fashioned communication and understanding melted the tension and each partner feels the support of the other.

How can you show understanding?

• If you are the guy, then you will need to listen more than you talk (that will be easy for you anyway Statistics declare that men speak around 2000 words and hour, while women need to speak up to 5000 words an hour. The very fact you are prepared to listen shows you are genuinely interested in understanding your wife.
• You do not have to have all the answers in order to understand. All you need to do is listen, and show support.
• Make sure your response shows you listened. This will communicate that you DID listen and you ARE intent on supporting.

Faithfulness, communication and understanding will take you a long way towards celebrating your 50th, 60th and yes even 70th wedding anniversary. Just the other day I saw a photo of a couple in celebrating their 70th anniversary!

May you enjoy a lifetime of a successful marriage, and:

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

But this is not so.

The real secret is that successful marriages are blessed in heaven and made on earth.

The day you stand before the alter to join together as husband and wife, your marriage is blessed in heaven.

Then comes the work on earth!

These are marriages where each partner CHOOSES to make their partnership work and they BOTH work at it. They also both CHOOSE to be happy. This will create a strong, successful and happy marriage.

Strong marriages make strong communities!

A friend and his wife recently celebrated their 16th wedding anniversary. As you may have guessed, I love to see long successful marriages, so of course I seized the opportunity to ask GD to share his secrets.

He gave me three great keys! In this post I am sharing the first key, and next post you will find the other two.

Secret No 1. Faithfulness.
This a major key of course in this society we live in where commitment is often a dirty word. But without commitment there is no foundation for a strong relationship, especially in marriage and the family.

The very first place you need to be committed for a sincere and geniune relationship is in your mind and heart.

We live in a society where there are images everywhere you turn that can flash into your mind in a micro second. If you don’t deal with them immediately, some of these images can cause you GREAT problems.

Faithfulness begins in the mind.

GD gave me some valuable tips that have helped him to conquer the wandering thoughts and images in his mind. These images and thoughts can zip into our minds as a result of the impressions that society so lavishly showers on us everywhere we turn.

• Take control of your mind. This is done by prayer and determination. Of course this has to begin with a decision.
• GD also said, I take notice of what I did, and FACE my faults. The enemy operates in the dark. As soon as he is exposed to the light, his power is crippled. When you FACE your faults you are exposing the battle to the light.
• Take the blame and face the weakness. Again, half the battle is won when we face our faults.
• Don’t condemn. Love NEVER condemns. Condemnation should never exist inside the home. We get enough of that outside the home.
• If you have authority at work to hire, make sure you watch the dress code.

These indeed are valuable tips. And there are 2 more keys to a successful marriage which I will share in the next post.

Meanwhile, take some time to meditate on the tips that leaped out at you as you read through this article.

• Did you see something you can apply to your life?
• Did you something you need to change?

If so – do it now! And I know you will enjoy the rewards.

I am sure you also have some excellent tips that help to maintain a strong relationship. Please share them below.

And

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

Jimmy is one of the icons on the internet marketing scene. He is one who’s work I have been following for quite a while. I like his style.

Along with comments about his plans for their celebration, Jimmy wrote an excellent post on his blog revealing the secrets to his successful marriage. Because Jimmy is an online marketer, he naturally took the opportunity to compare these three keys with our relationship to our business contacts.

However these secrets can actually help you with any relationship that is important to you whether it be with family, friends or business associates. This is the reason I am taking the opportunity to talk about this article today.

In a nutshell there are three main keys to a good marriage (and to any successful relationship).

1. Communication
2. Captivation
3. Cooperation

These are three keys to make all of your most important relationships endure through time.

I highly recommend that you read this article. I am sure you will be able to glen some great principles and ideas that you can apply and enhance all of your relationships, from marriage, friendship and business contacts. Read more about the three keys to a successful relationship here.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

The economy has had an effect on marriages and relationships that many probably did not expect. For example, couples that were headed to divorce court ended up staying together because they could not afford the cost of a divorce.

One thing is for sure, if they were not discussing money before they are now. Couples that had not talked about finances are now in the position of having to talk about money because of the effect the economy on their personal finances.

If you are in one of these positions, it is a good thing that you are now talking about money. Whether you really thought about it or not, money has many roles in our lives.

• It provides income.
• It allows us to purchase groceries.
• It enables us to put gas in the car.
• It enables us to pay bills and many other things.

Yet so many people have been in their marriages without discussing money. Therefore, when times get difficult and finances are less, stress sets in and so does blame.

In order for your relationship to be successful day in and day out, you both as a couple must agree to discuss finances without pointing blame.

Let me share a secret with you, I bet that neither of you (husband or wife) was taught how to manage money and so you dealt with it based on what you saw while you were growing up and so you learned on your own. That means you basically managed your money by trial and error.

I applaud you for reading this because now you are in a position to start over and make better decisions. Let me share with you two steps that can lead you in the right direction.

• First and foremost, forgive yourself for any financial choices you made that have caused financial stress.
• Second forgive each other and agree to move forward together.

Dr Taffy has prepared an excellent course about managing finances in marriage which is available on 5 CDs. It comes with a downloadable instruction guide and another downloadable guide to credit and budgeting.

This course will greatly empower your marriage and family relationships as you study and plan together to improve your financial stability. The results of right relationship to money also include a brighter future and less or no arguments because of finances.

May All Your Relationships be Successful!

This is great achievement these days, and I knew that Wendy would have some great wisdom to share with you. When I asked Wendy if she would consider writing down some tips and tricks that she has applied over the years to bring her this success, she graciously accepted.

Following is her article, I know that it will be a great blessing to you.

How To Stay Married For a Very Long Time
I got married in 1975 just after I turned twenty. I am still married to the same man today. Over the years we’ve discovered and developed ways to keep our marriage a happy place. Has it been easy? Yes, and no. But there are definitely some techniques and tactics we have learned along the way that have enabled us to live happily together all these years. Here are a few tips gleaned from over three decades of marriage.

1. Be smart before you start.
Before you consider getting married, make sure that you know each other well. It is likely that you will be opposite in personality since we tend to be attracted to our opposites. That’s fine, but what you need to make sure of is that you have the same goals for your life together. You must have things in common like what kind of life you want to live.

It helps if your backgrounds are similar since there is less adjustment required once you are together, but more important is that you want the same things out of life. For example, if one of you wants to live in the city and the other wouldn’t dream of leaving the country, then you may want to look at your ability to compromise before taking the leap.

2. Make a commitment for life.
When I got married, my plan was to stay with this man for the rest of my life. It still is and his is the same. When you are totally committed to making the marriage work, then you never consider any other alternative. Assuming that the relationship is not abusive, never entertain divorce as an option. You will position yourself to find solutions to your problems because your goal of having a happy marriage and making it work is paramount.

3. Forget “my way or the highway” attitudes.
Instead, decide which issues are the most important to you and which you are willing to give in on. Yes, I said, give in. When your big picture goal is to have a pleasant existence with another person, it gives you perspective on what’s really important and what you can let go. You will find that sometimes you get things your way, and sometimes your partner wins. Be willing to let go what’s not vital to you, but to make your wishes known on what you truly value.

4. Make an effort to make your mate happy.
When both of you have the goal of making the other happy rather than looking out solely for your own happiness the whole tone of the relationship changes. In giving in order to please your spouse you set up a situation where neither of you feels like you must grab as much happiness as you can for yourself or else there will be none for you. Look for ways to make your spouse happier. You really do reap what you sow.

5. Spend as much time together as you can.
Presumably you got married so the two of you could be together. So be together as much as you can. By spending time together you have far less chance of growing apart, having misunderstandings, or losing touch with what’s important to each of you. By being together you increase your opportunities for talking about your lives and staying connected to each other.

6. Practice forgiveness.
Let the grudges go. Don’t keep track of your spouse’s infractions of your private code of behavior. Talk things over then let them go. I know it’s not always easy, in fact, sometimes it is very difficult, but any relationship worth preserving is going to have challenging times. You are going to hurt and disappoint each other. It goes with the territory. Just don’t hang onto the hurts, don’t entertain the grievances, and don’t assume that anything is unforgiveable.

7. Be kind to each other.
Many of us save our best behavior for complete strangers and let our worst out with those we love and who love us. This is backwards. I’m not suggesting that you be rude to strangers, but that your very best behavior should be with those you profess to care about. If you consistently treat your spouse with kindness, as well as demonstrating your love, you become much more lovable.

Don’t allow yourself to make your spouse your enemy or your dumping ground. Definitely, you want to be able to talk over your troubles and frustrations, but blame and recriminations toward your mate is a recipe for pain. And in this case, pain equals no gain.

8. Make God the center of your life.
Living with you as god simply doesn’t work because a life that’s ‘all about me’ and leaves no room for anyone else. It also cuts you off from your greatest source of wisdom, help, peace, joy and contentment. Your whole perspective changes when you make the focus of your life God-centered. And when you live your life to please God, you also become more lovable and more loving.

Wendy Dewar Hughes is a writer, publisher, artist and speaker. She is the author of Turning on the Light and Was that you God, or was it just me?.

Visit http://www.lusciousplaceresources.com for more inspiration and also to subscribe to The Luscious Spirit Ezine.

She is also the creator of the Art of Life, Love and Lusciousness at http://www.artoflusciousness.com

You can find Wendy also on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/Lusciousplace

As I congratulate Wendy and her husband on their happy celebration, my desire for you too is:

May All Your Relationships be Successful!