A Good Relationship Starts With Unselfishness

Yuli — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 04:09:03 +0000

In this series we are going to look at some of the ingredients that go together to make good relationship, as well as the challenges that can be faced in maintaining a good relationship.

I would love to hear your comments, your experiences and your wisdom.

Trust or Unselfishness, Which Comes First?

You will probably be expecting trust to be the first on the list of good ingredients, but today we are going to consider unselfishness because I think it is an attribute that both shows trust and invokes it.

Society today is geared towards the attitude of what is in this for me. Selfishness so often seems to the order of the day and of course it comes in various disguises, but it is not long before we can detect the true motives if we are sharp enough.

Sooner or later the disguise comes off and the real attitudes show through. This usually happens when there is pressure.

Pressure Can Be A Good Thing

Pressure in life is a good thermometer. If we embrace pressure as a friend, we can discover some areas of our own lives we need to work on, as well as being able to see through any “fronts” another person may be putting on. Pressure will soon break through those fronts.

A good friendship is built when each person genuinely seeks the best for the other, even when life’s pressures are strong. This genuine interest in the other person’s wellbeing is an essential ingredient for a healthy and lasting relationship.

The key here is found in the word genuine.

This means that in your thoughts, you are actually thinking about the other person’s interests first before your own.

Everything we do, we plan in our minds first. That is why what goes on in our thought life is so important.

Meeting For The First Time.

When you meet a new friend, a great question to ask them is: What are your goals in life? Then ask yourself: What can I do to help this person reach their goals?

This would be a great start to what could be a great relationship. As you start to converse with this new friend, there will be an appropriate time them this same question: What are your goals in life?

So here’s today’s reality check:

Ask yourself honestly, how unselfish am I?
Am I selfish in some areas that I don’t need to be?
(Yes there are times we do need to think of ourselves).
Where do I need to work on building this attribute in my life?

Remember every new change we make in our lives starts with a DECISION. Once you genuinely decide to change, you will be able to do it.