Successful Relationships

If you live on this planet you know very well that human beings tend to have their ups and downs. Some more than others.

It can be very difficult trying to relate to some folk at times.

However a well founded relationship will always ride the storms, especially when these 5 attributes are in the hearts of the folk involved.

Trust.
This can be a big “issue” for many people. Perhaps you have difficulty trusting because of past betrayals or failures. Trusting again may be a risk, but let’s face it all of life involves risk. If you don’t take any risks, you will not achieve anything.

John Kennedy is quote as saying: “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

And Avoid the Frenzy and Nightmare

If you find that when your son or daughter enters teenage years your relationship with them starts to change do not be concerned. This is a new phase of their life. As a child, they may have been willing to follow your ways, your standards and your beliefs.

However now they are entering a stage of life where they will decide on and define their own beliefs, standards and ways. Some of their decisions may conflict with your perspectives, but do not be concerned.

This morning I received an email announcing that Jimmy Brown is about to celebrate his 15th wedding anniversary. Congratulations Jimmy!!

Jimmy is one of the icons on the internet marketing scene. He is one who’s work I have been following for quite a while. I like his style.

Along with comments about his plans for their celebration, Jimmy wrote an excellent post on his blog revealing the secrets to his successful marriage. Because Jimmy is an online marketer, he naturally took the opportunity to compare these three keys with our relationship to our business contacts.

However these secrets can actually help you with any relationship that is important to you whether it be with family, friends or business associates.

Two major keys to any successful relationship is love and communication. One expression of love is to show a genuine desire to communicate with the person.

When both love and communication are present in a relationship any problem can be worked out.

When some parents face difficulties with their teenagers that seem impossible to solve, they tend to take the “easy way out” and simply ignore their teen. I am sure you have heard of the theory “if I ignore it, it will go away”. This is so often the human way of coping with many situations that are difficult to handle.

However, in actual fact ignoring a problem does not solve anything, but rather it allows time for any unresolved emotional reactions to go deeper and fester.

There will be added difficulties if communication difficulties existed with your teenager when he or she was a small child. But be encouraged, it is not impossible to restore your relationship with your teen to become a successful one. It will take some time, patience and a determination to win. But always expect the best, and you WILL win!

Very soon I will be starting a series on Real Love.

There are many kinds of love, but each one of them will only last is they include the greatest love of all – Agape Love.

Agape loves even if it is not loved.
Agape gives if it does not receive.
Agape does not give up.
Agape never fails.

Add this kind of love to the love you have for all those around you and your life will change drastically!

This is the third article of the series Teenage Years – Parent’s Adventure or Nightmare. How you can embrace the adventure and stay away from the nightmare.

These tips were either suggested or approved by my teenage friends, and the third tip that was named is:

Don’t Punish.
I have to admit, this suggestion was not my idea. I did not come up with it, they did. Do not punish, they said. They insisted that this should be included in our series.

So where does this leave us parents? I certainly look forward to your comments below.

Here are some thoughts,

We all know and recognize that the teenage years can be a difficult time of life. There are many changes going on both in the bodies and the minds of the youngsters. Here are some of the main things that are happening to your teen:

This is the second article of the series Teenage Years – Parent’s Adventure or Nightmare. How you can embrace the adventure and stay away from the nightmare.

These tips were either suggested or approved by my teenage friends, and threatening was definitely named as one of the things NOT to do with your teenager. So tip number 2 is:

Never threaten them.

In the last article we looked at arguing. Arguing is never a way to create a healthy relationship with anyone, let alone a teenager who is already facing a lot of changes and complications in life.

Another thing that will be sure to irritate a teenager is to threaten them. (Well threatening will provoke most anyone to anger right?). So number 2, of the 7 things not to do is:

There is one main ingredient that binds together EVERY and ANY other principle that can be followed to build good relationships between parents and children.

(In fact see what Dr Wagner shared in his comment here: “give lots of hugs. Our twins would come and hug us immediately after we disciplined them. That’s a Message!.” (You can find Dr Wagner on Twitter at http://twitter.com/moneyinmarriage).

My answer to Dr Wagner’s comment: “absolutely!”

In fact love is the key ingredient for all Successful Relationships.

However, there is a misconception of what love really is and one of the places where this illusion is found is in the relationships between parents and children.

I am sure you have heard the term “Tough Love”, and perhaps even had to apply it at one time or another. At the time of confrontation it may even seem beyond tough, but be encouraged, it does pay off.

Here’s a living example: (Names changed, but situation is real).
Some good friends of mine in Mexico whom I have known for probably 15 years or so have 2 sons. Both boys of course had the same opportunities, but as in many families, one was a little more rebellious than the other, actually quite a bit more rebellious.

Drastic Measures
Things became so difficult that one day the father stepped in and took some very drastic measures with the rebellious lad. He put him out of the home to fend for himself.

How many times I have heard this across the years as I talked with friends, families and folk seeking counsel and prayer.

Most of them were unaware that they were holding grudges and here’s why. This is a true story:

There are several young folk (well they have grown a bit over the past years who look to me as a spiritual mother. I met them all when they were in their teens, and most come from a very broken or difficult home background.